Creating boundaries improves your mental health and personal growth.
Addiction takes its toll on relationships. It can fuel a myriad of fear-based behaviour patterns including the need to control, perfectionism, resentments, victimhood, martyrdom. Healing in recovery takes a concerted effort on everyone’s part whether the addict themselves or their loved ones.
A first step is establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.
Knowing what is mine to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom, choices and options. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. Creating boundaries improves your mental health and personal growth by establishing guidelines for self-care that include saying no more often and standing firm in your decisions rather than letting people walk all over you.
Setting boundaries entails taking ownership of your own wants, needs, and feelings. Setting up healthy boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people’s concerns or problems. All it means is that you aren’t solely responsible for them. It helps to create a clear guideline/rule/limits of how you would like to be treated. They let others know what is and what is not okay/acceptable. It honours our needs and wants so that we feel respected and safe.
It takes practice! Where addictions and trauma are involved, our values and needs become blurred and enmeshed in codependency; we don’t know where we end, and the other person begins. Creating boundaries is not about being selfish, it’s about self-care. Making boundaries builds resilience, it helps us think more rationally and respond to situations thoughtfully. We are less resentful and empowered to be more present in our relationships not only with others, but with ourselves.
If you are ready to make a change
Whatever your reason for seeking counselling or therapy, I believe in a non-judgmental and transformative way of working that is tailored to meet and fulfil your particular needs, at this time of your life. In my experience, lasting positive change really is possible